The season is over, my darling is waiting for me at the Issyk Kul, and I am waving my hand to the helicopter that carries to Kar-Karu remains of the Northern basic camp. A regular storm on the top of Khan Tengry and extremely vexing returning back from the cupola of Pobeda for the sake of saving client’s life is left behind. My long-awaited Rubicon, a bound, the only left by myself loophole to a “peaceful” life is yet to come. Five years ago, after an unsuccessful attempt of ascenting to the center wall of Khan Tengry, that ended with broken hands and not tiresome self-rescuing, a thorn appeared in my side – it is possible to do it alone! Little by little, in the process of annual preparations and desperate trainings, the thorn has turned into an idée fixe. Here it is, my “Highest hallmark”, having tested myself with which, I, possibly (Messner promised), will find finally harmony with myself and world around me.

Again customary, blinding by sun, silence, this is not in Archa but at the Northern Inilchek. I feel gently chilly because of the change of scale. Jackdaws that have prepared for the feast on the remains of destroyed depot are alarmed. “Is it possible that these artful two-legged have left a watchman for the winter?”. You have no reason to be in a blue funk, birds, I am going to pass here the only night. There are two variants of way to the South, to the helicopter, in front of me. To the right there is familiar “Classics” – the way of disreputable flight and to the left there is the disastrous bulk of the Northern wall. Till the daybreak I have to make a choice.

But first of all I have to carve a home. I’m going to pass the night without sleeping-bag as otherwise it can become wet and add to my more than 30-kilogramme rucksack an extra kilogram. It seems, that the framework of bath-house with undestroyed sweating-room suites for the night-passing well. So I draw remained tent to the roof, throw inside a large felt mat- blanket for vegetables and castaways and rather decent doss-house is ready. Now it is time to make a road along camp rubbish heaps. By the strivings I have got several packets of “Gala-gala”, a half of jar of coffee and a lot of different delicacies. Magnificent supper and such a breakfast are guaranteed for me. Then I rest small articles that are necessary for passing the night and take off to the Wall in order to carry my burden as near to the route as possible, because going with such a cargo along a glacier at night time is not a pleasure at all and moreover it’s better to look the way over beforehand. My torch is hopelessly bad and I want to learn the condition of the glacier for night approach. Having reached the beginning of the bowl of glacier beside the wall, I leave the rucksack there and do up to the bowl. There is no snow at all – wonderful! The bowl is heaped up with latest landslips – it is worse, but all of them are possible to detour by bottom. On the way back I make signs and, being inspired, go to the camp. So, it is left not to give way to fear and not to oversleep heavily. It’s ridiculous, to sleep before Such a Mount!

The night is leerily warm, but there is no any cloud in the sky. Having promised myself that if it is too frightful, I will return from berg, and at 3 o’clock I take off. In a trice, without luggage I reach the rucksack and amalgamate with it. I pass quickly the bowl beside the wall, I was lucky that there is no snow, and start climbing up to the berg. Near it, as it should be, there is snow “from crotch to breast”. I have no right to give all I have got and this voyage takes me about two hours. At 6-00 I am near the Wall. It’s a point of making a decision. Two decent arguments for returning fly down with spitting from above. Having dodged, I continued dressing, and, having swallowed bitter from fear saliva, pass through the steep edge of the berg and go in the direction of the crotch. The crotch is such a place where it is possible to turn to the left, to the center of the wall or to go straight along the right part. There is about 12-14 pitches of fixed ropes from the berg to it. (According to 2004, there we were going with the help of fixed ropes from the berg). I hoped to pass this strip without using fixed ropes, but, towards the 10th rope, my heavy companion on the shoulders has made black deed. Legache has become insufferable and I, having sadly sweared, start the process of crawling up and down. On approaching to the crotch the sky become cloudy. Excruciating hesitations about the further way started. I had 15 kg of “iron” prepared for the ascenting by the center, but I’m absolutely unprepared for ascent in bad weather conditions, as al my equipment burnt down in my last year's helly-adventure. It’s a pity, but it seems that I have to give up the idea of ascenting by the center of the Wall. In foul weather, having bad clothes and bivouac, it’s not a difficulty to leave there all the health, and I have been an irreconcilable adversary of vacant sport heroism. And I simply have no right to stay at the wall for a long time as nobody knows that t goes not by “Classics”, and in the case of my not coming to the helicopter, innocent people can get a lot of extra troubles. If it were my own expedition – that would be a horse of a different color, but now I work as a guide for Kazbek Valiev and I can’t leave my chief vulnerable, so then he has run rather serious risks leaving me alone on the glacier without any care. Moreover, I have already gone by the left and the central route and by the right – haven’t, so it will be interesting. Having made such a powerful theoretic base, I take off in direction to a steep ice ascension that goes to the right part of the Northern Wall. Forward there is absolute uncertainty so I have decided to think about the further way at the first overnight stop, and it has not been found yet. Having passed two interesting pitches of steep brittle ice, come to an ice plane of usual steep (the route of Low to peak Northern Korea). It is evening coming, the sky become covered with clouds, so it is time to find an overnight stop. One more pitch and I see a place for my tent, which is sewed of the remains of the awning that outlived the wall adventure of 2001. The ledge turns out to be covered with ice but there is no alternative. It has started snowing, and this hasn’t left any chance for maneuvering, on the ice begin to thunder “fast trains” of avalanches. In two hours on my “substation” I have manage to make rather tolerable, reclining, ledge, but a lot of snow crowd into the tent. It is a pity I haven’t been going to get wet through on the first day.

Morning removes all doubts concerning the appropriateness of the chosen way. The snowfalling doesn’t stop and I have no possibility to go up- or down- wards, as I haven’t the “train” timetable to slip between them. What an ambush! In 2001 we had three days of good weather but now it is absolute hopelessness. “Down” has become looked like a moist Barbos with sad eyes that is ready to help the master but can’t. There you are – the Center, I would like to reach the range by the right side at least! I have food and gas for ten days, but forward there are complete puzzles. How much time will the foul weather stay, what does the relief above look like and where should I climb all in all? Cloudiness doesn’t allow looking over the wall up to the range, the only rocky step is seen in about three pitches but how it is difficult is impossible to determine from such distance. The day is passing in sad thoughts.

The next dawn gives hope again, but I can’t take off early as the wind is blowing off respectable avalanches of the remains of snowfalling. It turns out to be not three but five and a half pitches up to the rocks, how deceptive mountain air is! Having passed a pitch of steep covered with snow tile, I find on the place of planned station an excellent channel, a wonderful gift on an unpleasant relief. And the world around me again sinks into snowfalling. There you are –have we been climbing, it’s time to seek a sanctuary from the avalanches. Around me there are rocks covered with fresh downy snow. Nothing suitable even a place for the “fifth point” can be seen. So, I find a nice place but it is punched by small avalanches. Nothing else to do, so I start ramming snow, but when the ledge is ready, it is leveled by avalanches. After two-hours of vain work I start feeling sad and, that is more important, cold. All the clothes are wet through and it is very difficult to get warm, even while working. Fortunately, I have managed to find a little break between two avalanches and I have time to take a seat on my “chair”. Now, how my friend Edik likes to say, “I am the minion of Moon!”. Now I carefully, trying not to burn through the tent, start melting snow. If there is boiling water, there will be life. Furious snow flows uninterruptedly try to force me out from the ledge, but the rucksack is on my side. Having grown heavy because of the water, it becomes a good companion-in-arms in the struggle for the place under the sun, or, to be more exact, under the avalanches. I think about the next day with horror – if the snowfalling doesn’t stop, I will have really bad time. Closer to the morning clouds disappear. I have passed the night without sleeping so at five o’clock I have been disassembling my “doss-house”. I haven’t any desire for taking out the camera, and it’s a pity. In front of me there is the next rocky step, and beyond of it an ice wall of the “pillow”, along which it is possible to climb up to the range, is seen. Today I at least have to find a place for proper rest, and what’s better – to climb to the “pillow”. A hard overnight rest has taken a lot of forces, and they are necessary for me, as I don’t know how much time I will have to climb to the range and how much energy and luck I should have to descent to the South along an unknown dangerous wall.

I do one pitch of fixed rope and go tearing. To burst I will have to suffer really loutish pain in legs. Under the step there are not steep rocks covered with snow that is waist-deep. In struggle with the impassibility of the road I notice that have climbed to a decent steepness not right away. So I feverishly start to find a place to make a station, leave there the rucksack and pass a good pitch of rocks that begins with gently hanging. Here it is – the bottom of the ice “pillow”. An attempt of twisting Grivell ice screw throws me into confusion. It slips out with a bucket of “ice cream on a stick”. What a surprise! Even winter ice in Archa behaves better! Above me there is a pitch of such ice, handing, it’s very unpleasant. It seems that to the left there is more gently-sloping way, but there it is necessary to go for five pitches in crampons, but it has become very difficult to suffer pain. So I find out a vertical slope and decide to go over it, it’s more steep, but there is only one pitch. Fortunately, a crack filled with snow is crossing the wall slantwise and a half of the way I go along it. Here it is – the “pillow”! From behind the nearest seracs I can’t see the entire plane and don’t know whether I will be able to climb to it here, but the tiredness has its effect. So, I made a ledge and cook backward breakfast. Opposite, at the slope of the shoulder of Chapeau I notice three men that are going upwards. And I thought that I am closing the season from the North! It is interesting, who are these men and where they are going to descent. May be, they will make me a descent path to the South. Dreams, dreams… It is impossible to understand how much is up to the range and the sky is becoming cloudy again. Near the serac there is a wonderful overnight rest, oh, how I want to tent and have a nice sleep! With great difficulties I make me continuing the way, here I can become closed by avalanches. Having passed the seracs, I find myself at the main plane of the “pillow’, but it is covered with snow that reaches my breast. I see the range but am doing a meter in five minutes. After an hour of struggle the slope crashes preventively, makes it clear that soon we’ll ride down to the beginning of the route together. From bad to worse! I go back down and wander looking for more a safe blanket of snow. I’m lucky! I find a stripe that is less covered with snow and along it I go in the direction to the range. Fortunately, I have enough forces to do 50 steps, I have a chance to reach the place for overnight rest before coming the night. According to the known script, it starts snowing, but I have no power to go more quickly, so it is terrifying. I hope that with such a rucksack it isn’t easy to remove me from the slope. In gloaming come to the range in the region of 6100, what a happiness! Under the crosspiece I see a tent but there are no footsteps going to it. Is it possible that somebody is ascenting from the South?! It would a real present of fortune for me! Three men from Chapaev are descenting to the crosspiece, who are they, I wonder? Having got the crosspiece I organize the bivouac and through darkness hear that my neighbors are making an overnight stop somewhere above me. All right, I’ll take counsel with my pillow, it’s necessary to go to the top and there is a lot of snow on the range! A very hard day finished with momentum falling asleep to the rustling of snowfalling.

In the morning I awake from the voices of neighbors that were going to the South from the crosspiece. They were passing the night beyond the berg, at the slope of Chapaev. A desire to go down with the descenting people appeared immediately. But I decide not to make follies and in 12 o’clock go to the top. Seven hours forward and back – normal time, but deep snow and tiredness make me returning back from the first rocks. Then I go to look for the rope from the crosspiece to the South. I found it occasionally when was digging a hole for an ice screw. And at this time on the crosspiece real snow storm started. I reach my tent with difficulties and decide that it was a good idea not to go to the top this day. The next it is desirable to go out earlier.

It is the first time in my history when I take off at 6 o’clock, as I want to avoid the evening foul weather. I reached the top easy and there I was presented with sun silence. During the descent I saw steps that were going from the South to the crosspiece. South, I will be able to join somebody to descent with belay! At 3 o’clock I was on the crosspiece and after an hour of rest went to the South. There were Sergey Brodsky and Alla Tuzova with some clients, hurray, hello, life! In fact, the life has began only under the wing of Dmitry Grekov, after our (together with Sergey and Alla) trip to the Southern Inilchek – the basic camp of “Ak-Say travel”.

It’s a pity. Such a prepared ascent by the center of the Wall was not successful, but I was able to touch its ice greatness!